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January
Chapter One - Chapter Nine
Feburary
Chapter Ten - Chapter Twenty-one
March
Chapter Twenty-two - Chapter Twenty-three
April
Chapter Thirty-four - Chapter Forty-eight
May
Chapter Forty-nine - Chapter Fifty-four

June
Chapter Fifty-five - Chapter Seventy-two
July

Chapter Seventy-three - Chapter Eighty-Six
August
Chapter Eighty-six - Chapter Ninety-six

September
Chapter Ninety-seven - Chapter One Hundred and Eight
October
Chapter One Hundred and Nine - Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Five
November
One Hundred and Twenty-Six - One Hundred and Thirty-Three
December
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Four - One Hundred and Forty-One

Meanwhile Gardens: An Urban Adventure
Written by Charlie Caselton

Chapter Seventy-three - Kiss Interrupted
Auntie Em looked forward to these chaste romantic assignments. They made her feel so girlish, a quality she had never sought for herself, and normally abhorred in others, but at the moment it felt, well, it felt just delicious.
Slipping her hand into Doctor Gidwani's she felt a pleasant tingle as his thumb caressed hers.
"You know Kanwar," She said to the handsome Indian. "if we continued walking, and walking, and walking," Emma gestured up the canal. "perhaps for several days, we would end up in somewhere in the middle of England."
Auntie Em felt her knees buckle slightly as the Doctor turned to look at her with those deep brown eyes.
"It would be Heaven to spend several days alone with you, my love," Kanwar Gidwani began to smile. "even if we did finish up in Birmingham where my cousins and aunts wouldn't give us a moment's peace."
Auntie Em was silent at the thought of a break spent alone with the strikingly handsome, gentle-mannered doctor.
"Perhaps we could?"
The Doctor flashed a smile of unrivalled brilliance at her. "Spend a few days in Birmingham?"
Emma laughed gently. "Spend a few days alone."
Kanwar pulled her to him and nuzzled her face. "There would be nothing I would like more." He put a finger under her chin. Auntie Em was sure he was about to kiss her for the very first time when he froze.
"Kanwar?"
"Isn't that - "
Doctor Gidwani looked up the canal where it appeared a man had his arms around a young girl and was refusing to let go.
"Isn't that Rion?"
Even though the body of the man obscured the girl's face Emma knew immediately who it was.
"Yes. Yes. It is." She said worriedly. "And it looks like she needs help."
Auntie Em began hurrying up the canal towards the couple. "Get off her!" She shouted in her most authoritative of voices.
But the man didn't pay any attention.
"Auntie Em!" Rion shrieked. "It's Jake. I think he's dying!"

Doctor Gidwani was first on the scene. "Has he taken any drugs?"
"No!"
"Rion you can tell me."
"You won't get into trouble." Auntie Em said slightly out of breath.
Doctor Gidwani began muttering as he looked into Jake's drooping eyes, going through all the conditions that could bring the young man to such a state.
"Jake's not a druggie." Rion said almost crying. "He may smoke an awful lot of grass but - "
Auntie Em turned to Kanwar. "That couldn't do - " She gestured to Jake's crumpled body. " - this, could it?"
"No." Doctor Gidwani rummaged in his jacket pocket for his mobile phone. "Not unless it was laced with paraquat." He pulled Jake roughly to his feet. "Keep him standing."
Jake had now lost all control of his muscles and was slipping in and out of consciousness. While Auntie Em and Rion struggled to keep him upright the doctor barked instructions into his mobile.
As soon as he had finished he rushed to take Jake's weight from the woman and young girl.
"Help me walk him to Ha'penny Steps, that's where they're meeting us." Although Kanwar's voice was calm Em could tell he was growing very concerned about Jake's condition.
With Jake propped between Doctor Gidwani and Auntie Em, they made their way the short distance back to the old tollbridge.
"Will he be alright?" Rion asked, following skittishly behind.
Doctor Gidwani looked at his watch. He was beginning to get more flustered. "I've informed St Mary's and if we can get him there in time he'll probably be ok."
"Probably?" Rion said, unable to envisage the 'probably not'. "Probably?" She asked again, powerless now to choke back her tears.
Kanwar looked at his watch again and strained to hear the ambulance but there were no sirens to be heard.

Chapter Seventy-four - A Christening
"There's no way it can be called the unlucky house now." Ollie surveyed the work they had done in 1A.
Wayne called through from the bathroom. "Unlucky what?"
"It's Auntie Em's name for the house." Ollie explained walking over to the small room which, apart from having no door, was almost finished. "The reason why - " Ollie stopped himself as he entered and just looked. He never got tired of the sight of the builder. Wayne, shirtless, flecked with paint, was busy adjusting the thermostat on the shower. "The reason why?" He looked up questioningly.
"It's - er - a long story and not important."
With a final twist of the screwdriver Wayne wiped his forehead and stepped out of the cubicle. "It should work now." He turned on the tap and leapt out of the way as a stream of water burst from the showerhead.
Ollie gingerly tested the water with his hand. "And it's warm!" He grinned at the builder. "Should we christen it?"
Wayne answered by simply slipping the belt from his work trousers and letting them fall to the floor.
They didn't bother turning up the radio.

Chapter Seventy-five - Hooked
Nicky hurried down the stairs hoping it would be Auntie Em. There was an element of the plan that concerned her.
"About time." She said as she opened the door but instead of Emma Nelson she found Wayne.
"Am I late?" The builder looked at his watch. "Auntie Em said to come over at six."
Auntie Em? It grated almost as much as him calling her Nicks.
"Sorry. Come in." She said, taking in how presentable he looked in one of Ollie's shirts over black jeans.
Before she could shut the door Wayne said. "Best leave it on the latch - Ollie'll be over in a minute."
Following him up the stairs Nicky caught a whiff of a familiar lemony smell. She was sure it was from the bottle of Dune she had given Ollie for his birthday.
"What needs doing then?"
In an effort to make sure Wayne stayed until everything was in place Auntie Em and Nicky decided to tempt him with more work.
Nicky moved to the mantelpiece where Merlijnche de Poortje cast her sad gaze over the room.
"A complete overhaul really. Repainting for starters."
"Where?"
As Nicky gestured to the whole of the space she made sure to run her fingers along the gilt-framed miniature, but Wayne still hadn't noticed. "Everywhere."
"Woodwork too?"
Nicky nodded. "And varnishing the floors in the kitchen and bathroom."
"The works then?"
Unable to wait for him to spot Merlijnche de Poortje Nicky knocked the small painting from the mantelpiece.
"Whoops!" She said catching the miniature with great relief before it hit the floor. "Ollie would have killed me." With great exaggeration Nicky placed Merlijnche de Poortje back on the mantelpiece. "Apparently it's quite valuable."
Wayne turned to see Nicky pointing to the picture of the girl in the white fur stole.
"Didn't Ollie show this to you?" Nicky asked.
The builder's attention had most certainly been captured. He moved closer to the miniature and looked at it curiously.
"Funny. He said you were into Dutch painting."
"Some." The builder grunted.
"Do you like Vermeer?"
Wayne was still fixated by Merlijnche de Poortje. "Sorry Nicks. I've just had a shower." He shook his head as if to clear excess water from his ears. "Do what for you?"
That settles it Nicky thought. He doesn't know his Escher from his elbow. "Nothing." She murmured.
At the rattle of the letterbox Nicky shouted down. "It's open."
The sound of the stairs being taken two by two preceded Ollie's arrival in their midst. He burst into the sitting room looking freshly washed and scrubbed.
"Are you ready?" He asked Wayne before going to greet Nicky with a kiss on the cheek.
She tilted her head to one side and looked at him admiringly. "Where are you off to looking so dapper?"
"To see Chicago."
Nicky couldn't hide her disappointment. "I thought we were going to go and see that Ol."
Wayne snuck another quick look at the miniature. There was no doubt this was the one in the picture Candida had given him.
"I could make a start on those quotes if you really want to go Nicks."
I bet you could Nicky thought.
Wayne put his arm around Ollie's shoulders. "Nicks might want me to do some work for her."
"Tonight?" Ollie asked incredulously.
"No. No. You go to the theatre." She said quickly. Things weren't set up yet anyway. "Maybe tomorrow night - we'll all be at the fireworks on Primrose Hill."
"So will Wayne!" Ollie protested.
It would be better tomorrow night, Wayne thought, when no one was around. "Let's see how things turn out." He picked up the miniature and turned to Ollie. "You never told me about this."
"Ah Merlijnche." Ollie's face lit up upon seeing the miniature.
"She looks good here doesn't she? I've borrowed her for a few days from Auntie Em."
Wayne turned to Ollie. "Has she been looking after it for you?"
"Yes, Auntie Em thinks someone is trying to - "
"You'd better be going O1." Nicky said hurriedly shooing them out of the room. "You don't want to be late."
As Wayne went down the stairs Ollie hugged the photographer. "Sorry about Chicago Nicks, I'll make it up to you I promise. And thanks," He gave her a resounding kiss on the cheek. "for keeping Wayne here."
"It's not sure yet." Nicky said cautiously.
"I know you're doing it for me."
Nicky guiltily returned his hug. "I hope you'll thank me for it later." She managed to mutter.
Ollie blew her a kiss and left.

Wayne was able to make the call during the interval of the hit show. An answerphone clicked on immediately but it was unmistakably Candida's voice on the message.
The builder kept it short. "I've eyeballed what you're looking for." He said. "It'll be in your hands before too long."
Through the crush he could see Ollie approaching with the drinks.
"Call me tomorrow."
Wayne clicked off the phone. He would miss Ollie but the bonus would make it worthwhile

Log in next week for your regular episode of Meanwhile Gardens...

Chapter Seventy-six - Crop Spraying
Ollie and Rion sat on Auntie Em's sofa anxiously listening in to the phone conversation she was having. They could hear a steady stream of soothing tones which obviously belonged to Doctor Gidwani, followed by a voiced breath signifying Auntie Em's digesting of the information. This carried on for several minutes before Auntie Em thanked Kanwar and put the phone down.
"Well?" Ollie and Rion asked in unison.
"Jake had a good night. He's stabilised although very weak. Apparently he has severe septicaemia."
"Which is?" Rion asked.
"Blood poisoning." Auntie Em replied. "The blood literally turns black."
Rion wrinkled her nose. "Ugh!"
"Poor Jake!" Ollie exclaimed. "What do they think caused it?"
"Well," Auntie Em sat down in the overstuffed armchair. "They've found incredibly high levels of delanquine in his body - apparently it's some chemical normally used in crop spraying and the like. They can't understand how he came to have such toxic levels in his blood."
"Did you say crop spraying?" Ollie asked. Auntie Em nodded.
"Maybe one of the cemetery guards found one of Jake's grass patches and sprayed it."
"Then he smoked it." Rion said.
Auntie Em wasn't so sure. "Wouldn't the plant show signs of chemicals? Withered leaves? Yellowing?"
"Not if it was harvested soon after it was sprayed." Ollie sat back. "That's the only explanation."
"But that must mean Jake would have had to have been practically following the guard round."
Ollie threw up his hands. "Stranger things have happened."
Auntie Em remained unconvinced. "Not that strange. Jake didn't strike me as being a simpleton."
"Anyway visiting hours are mornings eleven until one and evenings five 'til seven."
Rion turned to Ollie. "We could go before the fireworks!"
"Sure." Ollie said. While they were at St Mary's Wayne could do Nicky's quotes and meet them at Primrose Hill he thought.
"Don't forget we've got something to do before then." Auntie Em arched her eyebrows knowingly at Ollie.
"I won't." Ollie stood up and smiled back.
"Won't what?" Rion asked.
"Shhh!" He said. "Your first job has arrived."
Ollie pointed out the window to Johnson Ogle. The lifestyle enhancer was just getting out of his silver Mercedes 500 he'd parked outside Nicky's.
More worryingly he had just spotted Wayne. "We'd better go." Ollie said knowing how similar Johnson's tastes were to his own.

Johnson slowly looked Wayne up and down. "Is this the reason you haven't been phoning?" He asked Ollie.
"Johnson, Wayne has things to do."
"And I bet he does them very well." Johnson said in that mid-Atlantic drawl that was part of his charm.
"This is Rion - Nicky's assistant - she'll take you in."
But Johnson couldn't take his eyes off Wayne.
Ollie put his arms around the decorator's shoulders and forcibly turned him in the other direction. "Now Johnson."
The tall man sighed. "And I was thinking he could do something for me."
"That was obvious my friend. Now go, Nicky's waiting."

Chapter Seventy-seven - Models One
This would be an easy session. Nicky had snapped Johnson on two previous occasions and he had been a darling - charming, affable, full of stories and most importantly fast.
She had borrowed some furniture from Ollie's workroom with the aim of getting him a credit which, since Ollie had taken Wayne to see Chicago instead of her, Nicky thought was perhaps overly generous.
"No blusher! I don't need it."
She could hear Johnson behind the screen where the Japanese make-up girl Nicky used for such occasions was dusting him.
"Kyoko - give Johnson what he wants." She called through. "He has excellent skin."
"Thank you Nicky." Johnson came out with the make-up cover still round his shoulders. Rion hurriedly removed it as he walked round the studio.
"I thought we'd use some of Ollie's furniture in the pictures."
"Just as long as you remember who the star is Nicks."
"As if I could forget."
"Why don't we try the bench first. Rion?" With Rion's help Nicky moved the simple bench with the lion's paw feet to the centre.
"Are you coming to Primrose Hill with us tonight?"
As Johnson sat, lay, put one foot on the bench, Nicky began snapping away.
"I wasn't asked." He sniffed. "Which is just as well as I'll be at David & Iman's for supper. Their chef excels in - well in practically everything actually. He does the most gorgeous Thai thingies..."
Rion listened agog as the names she had only read about dropped thick and fast. The young girl remained unaware of the frantic activity taking place outside where Auntie Em, assisted by Ollie and Wayne, readied 1A for her occupation. A bed was moved in, cupboards wiped down, curtains put up, a fridge installed and filled, flowers put on the table - it seemed there was an endless list of things to be done in such a short time.

"How did you get Jim James to look so slim?" Johnson asked, although he knew Nicky was too discreet to dish. "You know what the real scandal was about that film?"
To the dismay of his many female fans, and to the delight of their boyfriends, the teen hearthrob had been caught on amateur video in a compromising, and frankly rather uncomfortable, position with another man in a Central Park shrubbery.
"Apart from the fact that he was cruising some serious monsters, which in itself was ridiculous," Johnson continued. "I mean he could have a platoon of marines washed, oiled and sent to his suite and no-one need know about it, no, the real scandal was how out of shape he was. Am I right? A millionaire pop star letting himself go like that? That was the disgusting part, that was the real scandal, no?"
Nicky called to the Japanese girl who stood beside Rion in the corner. "Dust him ever so lightly Kyoko. You're starting to glisten around the forehead Johnson." She explained.
"Nicks, sweetheart, weren't you ever told that women glisten, men perspire and horses sweat? Of course when I'm around men sweat, women gossip and horses - well, they just stay in the stable don't they?"
Nicky adjusted the lights. "I want to do some profiles Johnson and then we're done."
"You know it's my left side I prefer?"
Nicky nodded.
"And then I'm finished?"
"Yup."
"It's just I'd like to ask Ollie's - " Johnson cleared his throat. " - builder - "
Nicky laughed. "Really Johnson, you make him sound like someone's 'financial adviser'."
Johnson tutted. "'Financial advisor' is so a couple of years ago Nicks, now its 'personal trainer' to indicate you're shagging which, of course, has taken over from 'therapist' - "
"And 'counsellor'' - "
"And soon its going to be 'casting agent'."
"Really?"
"Count on it Nicks, haven't you noticed how many of them there are around?"
Nicky chuckled. "Seriously though, would you take Ollie out on Sunday?"
"Could do I suppose - any particular reason?"
"I just think he'll need some support."
"Looks like he's got some firm support if you ask me." Johnson drawled as he posed for the last shot. "Who's your silent assistant by the way?"
"Rion. Isn't she excellent? I'd be lost without her."
In the corner Rion tried not to look too thrown. Be cool she told herself. Perhaps no-one else had noticed but she hadn't done a damn thing - how could she be excellent?
"She looks so like Jerry's eldest daughter - you know the one modelling for Vivienne?" Johnson smiled at Nicky. "You'll lose her if you're not careful."
"I've lost her already Johnson - she wants to get a job at Ultra."
"What ever for? It's a terrible office."
"That's what I told her. I asked Angie if there was anything going but she said there wasn't."
"She just didn't want to owe you a favour Nicky, but she owes me one already." He turned his gaze to Rion. "Would you like me to ask her for you?"
Rion had lost her powers of speech. Great, she thought, all I have to do is say yes and I can't even do that. Feeling her chest freeze she just nodded furiously.
"That's settled then. I'll let Nicky know."
"Th - th - thanks!" Rion managed.
As Nicky walked Johnson out of the studio she said. "Don't forget to ask Ollie about Sunday - he's setting himself up for a fall."
Or we are, she thought unhappily.
Nicky opened the front door to find Auntie Em, a variegated ficus in her arms, hurrying across the mews. She anxiously peered over Nicky's shoulder.
"Don't let Rion out yet." She said in a loud whisper. "We're not quite ready and Auntie Gem's not back. I'll let you know!"
Auntie Em continued on her way. She squeezed past Ollie who was sweeping the hall of 1A and vanished up the stairs.
Johnson turned to Nicky. "I love this place - it's always so full of intrigue."
She ignored the impulse to tell him just how much. Johnson and secrets just didn't go together.
"Yes." Nicky sighed. "Isn't it?" She kissed him on the cheek. "I'll call when the pictures are done." Nicky returned to her studio before Rion could see what was going on outside.
As Johnson went to greet Ollie a mobile phone rang close by. Johnson checked his but it came from inside 1A. Ollie traced it to Wayne's jacket hanging from a nail in the hall. "Wayne?" He called up but there was no reply.
"Better get that Ol." Johnson advised.
"Wayne Watson's mobile." Ollie answered cheerfully. "Hello?" He said again but the other person clicked off without speaking. Ollie looked at the number fading from the mobile's LCD - he was sure he recognised it, but couldn't quite pin down from where.
"I'm taking you to lunch on Sunday Ollie. No arguments. Perhaps your handsome friend might care to join us?"
"Wayne's being a bit weird about Sunday - you'll have to settle for me."
Johnson got into the silver coupe. He wagged his finger at Ollie "Sunday lunch!" Reversing out of the mews Johnson waved once and was gone.

Chapter Seventy-eight - A Family Surprise
"Was Johnson really going to have supper with David Bowie?" Rion asked.
"If he said so."
"Is he the one married to Naomi Campbell's mum?"
"I think you mean Iman?"
Rion nodded.
"She's like the original Naomi Campbell."
Kyoko was impressed. "He said you looked like Jerry Hall's daughter!"
This was all too much for Rion to take in. "When Johnson said Vivienne," She asked hesitantly, slightly worried about all these first names. "Did he mean Vivienne Westwood?"
"That would be the only Vivienne he knows."
Rion couldn't stop herself blushing.
"Now why don't we make use of Kyoko while she's here and finish off this film?" Nicky switched the lights back on and led Rion to the centre of the studio. Putting the light meter against her she fiddled with the lens.
"On me?" Rion couldn't believe what was happening.
"Kyoko," Nicky called to the make-up artist. "Let's do some little girl looks like you did for Linda at the Cerruti shows, and then maybe something wilder, something glossy pink, something more Chloé, more Berardi. Ok?"
Kyoko knew exactly what the photographer wanted. This was more fun than doing Johnson Ogle. She got out her brushes and went to work.

The telltale knock summoned Nicky to the door.
"We're ready!" came the whispered message.
What Johnson had pointed out now seemed glaringly obvious. With her long hair pulled away from her face the young girl had the pale pinched cheeks so loved by the camera, not to mention the tall youthful frame favoured by designers and editors everywhere.
Nicky simply stood and stared.
"What are you looking at?" Rion asked shyly.
Nicky snapped out of it. "You're stunning Rion. You really are."
"No I'm not." The young girl looked at the floor but she couldn't hide her happiness for long. "That was such fun!" Rion span around, her long blonde hair shining under the lights.
The telltale knock again was heard but this time it sounded more urgent.
Nicky smiled and took Rion by the hand. "The best is yet to come." She took a scarf from the coatrack and blindfolded the young girl with it.
Rion giggled. "What are you doing?"
"You haven't seen 9 1/2 Weeks have you?"
"How long?"
Rion knew she was on the mews by the cool air on her face. She also knew Auntie Em was there from the sound of her whisper.
"Mind the step." A familiar voice advised.
So Ollie was there too! But she thought they had gone further on from his house.
Hands guided Rion up the stairs, which smelt very strongly of fresh paint. Now she knew where she was.
But what was she doing here?
"Ok," Auntie Em said. "You can open your eyes."
Blinking slightly Rion opened her eyes to find herself in the sitting room of 1A. A banner had been hung over the fireplace. Its message was short and succinct, spelt out in brightly coloured letters.

WELCOME HOME RION!

Before she could take it all in, Nicky and Auntie Gem threw streamers at her while Ollie opened a bottle of champagne with a loud POP.
"It's yours for the time being," Auntie Em offered Rion a key on a small red velvet cushion. "or until you find something better."
Wayne looked on from the corner, embarrassed at witnessing the genuine emotion before him. His mobile phone came to his rescue. Hearing it ring he went down the stairs for some quiet.
It wouldn't really matter how loud the surrounding noise was, this voice would always come through loud and clear.
"Wayne, it's Candida."

Chapter Seventy-nine - If I should fumble and stall
With the real Merlijnche de Poortje hidden under her coat Nicky hurried past Ollie, Wayne and Rion towards the house at the end.
"It's on top of the dresser in my bedroom." Auntie Em whispered as the photographer went past her and ran up the stairs.
"Come on Nicks!"
Nicky could hear Ollie and Rion calling impatiently from the mews. She ran into Auntie Em's room. By the light of the lava lamp she could see Merlijnche de Poortje's painted white stole gleaming atop the dresser. She made her way towards it in the eery glow and put the miniature down ready to swap it with the fake one.
"Nicky?" The photographer jumped as the hall light went on behind her. "There's a light by her bed."
"Auntie Gem!" Nicky grabbed the miniature in the darkness and put it under her coat, replacing it with the one she bought. "Gotta rush!" She kissed Gemma on the cheek and hurried out.
Again she ran past Wayne, Ollie and Rion who stood talking to Auntie Em.
"I think I left the stove on!" She gasped as she rushed into her house.
"Get it together Nicks." She heard Ollie call from outside. "We're late as it is."
Now completely out of breath Nicky placed the miniature on the mantelpiece. The fake felt almost exactly the same as the original she thought. Almost exactly the same! Smiling at a job well done she went to join her friends in the mews.
"Phew!" Nicky put her arm around Ollie. "Let's get out of here."

"When did you say you were going out?" Wayne asked Auntie Em who stood watching Ollie, Rion and Nicky walk laughing out of the mews.
"Gem and I are going out about 9.15."
"Could you let me into Nicky's before you go? I'll finish up at 1A and then do the quotes before going to meet the others."
Auntie Em put her head to one side and looked at the builder grinning in front of her. 'Ah, smile SMILE and still be a villain.'
"Of course Mr Watson." Auntie Em turned on her heels and was soon in her house.
Wayne walked up the mews. There was only a small bit of bathroom ceiling that still needed plastering. He didn't have to finish it he realised. He could just wait until 9:15, get the painting and be out of there.
But something was stopping him.
Wayne combed through various emotions, hoping against all hope that he wasn't experiencing decency or some other softness. Feeling any sort of feelings was severely amateurish, he knew.
With relief the builder worked out that what was stopping him was professionalism. He had been paid to do a job and so couldn't leave before it was completed. The fact that he was going to rip them off afterwards was different - that was another matter and should be treated as such.
His conscience appeased Wayne entered 1A.

At the other end of the mews Auntie Gem had a surprise for Emma. "You'll find this interesting." She said as she put a large manilla envelope on the sitting room table.
Auntie Em opened it to find it contained a folder marked: In Strictest Confidence
"This isn't the original is it?" She asked.
"Of course not."
Emma settled on the sofa and began to read the report prepared by Mr Paul, the assistant manager at Peters & Peters. It was the inside account on the poisoning of the canal.

Chapter eighty - Look Out!
"Do you feel strange Ol?"
They were on the towpath heading for Little Venice when Nicky asked the question. Rion skipped ahead of them excited to be out for the evening.
"Isn't that what we smoke this for?" Ollie took a last hit of the joint before throwing it in the canal.
"No, it's not that, I mean." Nicky struggled to find the words but failed. Was she just feeling guilty about having set Wayne up she wondered? Well, forget that, he was the one deceiving them wasn't he? "Nothing, it's nothing." But the nagging feeling wouldn't leave her.
Ollie put his arm around his friend. "You're still upset about the Kakapo aren't you?"
"Maybe." Nicky hugged him.
Ollie had gone to see Nicky a couple of nights before to find her in floods of tears in front of a nature programme. Between sobs she explained about the Kakapo, a rare flightless bird found only in New Zealand that at one time was down to its last known member. For fourteen years local ornithologists heard its lone mating call as the bird made its arduous daily trek up to the top of the mountain. For fourteen years its call went unanswered.
And then nothing.
The Kakapo had never found its mate. It had died the last of the species, unhappy and alone.
"But the story wasn't all bad was it? They discovered another community of Kakapo didn't they?"
Nicky smiled weakly. "I guess."
"Maybe it's just mid-summer madness sweetheart - July weirdness?"
"The full moon?" Rion added.
"Or - " Ollie lit his lighter and placed it under his chin, the flame giving his face a ghoulish glow. "the fact that the weed is called 'Mausoleum Madness?'"
"All of the above I think." Nicky decided to shrug off the illfeeling. "Is there another spliff?"
"We have Jake to thank for this," Ollie pulled out another matchstick-sized joint of the powerful grass from his tin. "so make sure you do when you see him."
"They're still here!" Rion gestured to the brightly coloured barges anchored to the towpath. "I walked past these on my first day and for some reason they soothed me -well, all except one of them."
Ollie read the name of the first boat. "The Morrisco?"
"No! That sounds like a ballroom dance don't you think?"
"The Tango, the Merengue, the Morrisco." Ollie rolled the word around his mouth. "Could be." He pointed to two colourful prancing figures painted on the side of the barge. "Must be something like that."
Nicky could see the name of the middle barge. "Longfelloe?"
"Named after a literary buff who couldn't spell?" Ollie wondered.
Rion didn't get it. "Refers to the size of the boat doesn't it?"
"Or the size of his - "
Nicky cut him off. "Enough Ol!"
"So it must be," Ollie walked up to the final boat. "Home Sweet Home?" He returned to the Longfelloe where Nicky was struggling to light the joint.
Rion nodded. "I couldn't imagine such a place then, but now," She linked arms with Ollie and Nicky. "thanks to you, I have one of my own."
Ollie couldn't handle the mawkish silence. He looked at his watch. "You know if we have to be at St Mary's by seven we'd better hurry."
Nicky choked on the hot, dry smoke burning her throat. "Wait a sec." She wheezed, passing the small spliff to Ollie.
"When are we meeting Wayne?" Rion asked.
"10.30 at the look-out on the brow of Primrose Hill."
"We can also meet there if one of us gets lost." Nicky said. She was fairly sure Wayne wasn't going to turn up but hadn't the heart to tell Ollie. That had to be what was making her feel uneasy - all the deception, the trickery.
"C'mon!" Rion pulled at their arms.
Nicky threw the roach to the ground and stubbed it out with her heel. "Let's go!" She hoped her enthusiasm didn't sound too feigned.

In the darkness of one of the barges someone had listened to their entire conversation. The eavesdropper made a mental note: "Ten thirty, look-out, brow of Primrose Hill."

Chapter Eighty-one - Is she ok?
The wine from dinner and countless mini-spliffs had helped no end but by nine o'clock Nicky still hadn't managed to shrug off the feeling of unease, in fact it threatened to derail her whole enjoyment of the evening.
From Primrose Hill they looked over the glittering cityscape that was central London.
"Do you see there?" Nicky pointed to a mass below them, beyond the fairground in the darkness.
Rion looked hard but couldn't see much of interest.
"It's London zoo."
"Where the pandas are?" The young girl asked.
Ollie nodded. "You know, that would be one of the main reasons to live in Primrose Hill."
"For the pandas?"
"Not especially, but for the zoo. Imagine," He took a deep breath through his nose as if smelling the open plains of the Serengeti. "you would wake up in the half-sleep of morning, listening to the lions roar, the monkeys screech and believe you were on safari somewhere in Africa."
"Just waiting for some deranged gamekeeper to mug, rape you then steal all of your camera equipment?" Nicky shook her head. "No thanks."
"You know you can walk from Meanwhile Gardens all the way to the zoo along the canal?"
"Really?"
"Yup, you just turn left at Little Venice instead of going straight on as we did to get to St Mary's. There are a couple of parts where you have to cross over a road but it's pretty straightforward."
"Can we do it sometime?" Rion asked excitedly, seeing another London adventure unfold before her eyes.
"Of course."
"Speaking of St Mary's, are you going to see Jake on Sunday?" Nicky asked Rion.
They had only managed to see Jake for the last ten minutes of visiting time but that had been long enough. He had been very weak but grateful for their company.
"I can't make it tomorrow but - " Nicky continued.
"I didn't realise he was a particular friend of yours." Ollie said pointedly to Nicky while nudging Rion in the ribs.
"He's not!" Nicky protested. "but the poor guy's in hospital and besides, there's something about a helpless man in bed - "
Ollie sighed. "Isn't there just?"
" - that brings out an incredibly maternal instinct. Didn't you get that Rion?"
Rion grinned. "I think I'm a bit young for the maternal instinct Nicks."
"It's like some hidden Florence Nightingale gene hidden in every woman."
"And some men too sweetheart." Ollie chipped in.
Nicky sighed, confused at this sudden appearance of feminine instinct within her. "Weird." She muttered. "Just weird." She turned to see Rion entranced by the lights of London. The young girl's face in the half-shadow of night made her think suddenly of Merlijnche de Poortje.
It was then Nicky had the most ghastly feeling. She couldn't have been so stupid, she thought, could she? Could she?
"Oh my God!" Nicky glanced at her watch. It was nearly nine fifteen. Hopefully Wayne would still be there.
"Nicks?" Ollie looked over, concerned.
The photographer gazed around her in a panic. "I have to go." She felt physically ill. "I'll be back for the fireworks at 10.30 or I'll get you on the mobile." She hurriedly kissed Ollie and Rion on the cheek before racing down the hill towards Regents Park Road and the passing taxis. "I'll explain later!" She called back.
"Is she ok?"
Ollie shrugged his shoulders. "I've been asking that question for longer than I care to remember."

Chapter Eighty-two - Kidnapped!
Auntie Em looked on in satisfaction as Wayne's pickup rattled down the mews for what, she hoped, was the last time. She had known he would try to get into Nicky's at the earliest opportunity.
She hadn't been wrong.
The builder had called her at half past eight to inspect the bathroom ceiling at 1A. His workmanship was good, there was no doubting that side of things. From there she had let him into Nicky's house.
"He won't be back will he?" Auntie Gem asked.
Smiling she sat beside Gem at the table. "No." Emma said honestly. "I don't believe he will." She tapped the folder Auntie Gem had handed her earlier that evening. "But what are we going to do about this?"
Auntie Gem put on her coat before helping Emma into hers. She gave a sly chuckle. "I'll tell you over supper."

In the taxi speeding towards Meanwhile Gardens Mews Nicky was frantically trying to contact Auntie Em and Auntie Gem, but the phone just rang and rang.
She continually pressed the re-dial button on the small handset before putting her hands together and beginning to pray. "Dear God, please let Wayne still be there. Please let Wayne still be there." She repeated over and over in a desperate mantra.
The taxi-driver looked into his rearview mirror before stepping on the accelerator. He hated these mid-summer events, all the weirdos were out and proud but it was always the ones who weren't in costume that you had to watch out for.
They made the journey in record time. Arriving outside the small entrance to the mews the driver stopped.
"No, inside!"
The driver turned back to face her. "Miss, I won't be able to turn round."
Before the cab had pulled up outside her house Nicky had jumped out. She threw a ten pound note at the driver.
"Keep the change!"
Fumbling for the keys she managed to open her door, ran up the stairs and was confronted by the sight she had been dreading.
The mantlepiece was empty. There was no sign of the valuable miniature. Wayne, and so Candida, had kidnapped Merlijnche de Poortje.
There would be no ransom demand.

Chapter Eighty-three - Stig of the Dump
Ollie and Rion had just finished their second go on the dodgems when the call came through. Shouting to make himself heard above the sound of the fairground Ollie answered the phone. "Hello!" He laughed into the mouthpiece.
He could hardly hear the voice at the other end. "Ollie it's Wayne."
"One second mate." He quickly moved away from the madness of the bumper cars to a quieter spot near the shooting gallery. "Have you finished at Nicky's?"
"Yes."
Ollie thought Wayne's voice sounded somehow different. Even that single word sounded cold. "Are you ok?"
The builder thought it best to get straight to the point. "I won't be coming tonight. In fact my plans have changed completely."
"There's not much happening here anyway. I'll stay for the fireworks and then come back."
"I'm not going to be here mate."
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."
Wayne stopped for a second. How could he make himself clearer?
"I'm not going to be here tomorrow either." He said firmly.
"Well - " Ollie began, slightly thrown at the way the conversation was going.
"It's best we don't see each other again. Something's come up."
"Like what?" Ollie asked starting to get rattled. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying we're over. It's me not you. I can't explain."
"Can't or won't?" He asked angrily but Wayne had already clicked off the phone. Ollie looked up to find a large cuddly toy grinning down at him from the shooting range. It was some grotesquely sweet bear of an indescribable green. "What are you looking at?" He kicked the side of the range making the stall shudder.
A potentially violent voice from the other side made him think twice about hitting any more fairground property.
"Ollie?" Rion ran up.
He put his arm around the young girl. "I hate it when they say - 'It's me not you.' It's so damn condescending isn't it?"
"Who was that Ollie?"
"I mean - does he think I can't take it if he says, 'I don't fancy you anymore?' or 'You never put the CDs away, it drives me crazy, ' or even 'Your dog makes me sneeze'?" Ollie punched the air. "You can use that excuse with people who have pets can't you? 'Oh my allergies have flared up, I can't live with you any longer' - why couldn't he have used that one?"
"Ollie?" Rion asked concerned.
"He dumped me Rion. I've been dumped."
"Wayne?"
Ollie nodded. "I'm the dumpee, I'm Stig of the Dump, I'm Dumper Dumps of Dumpsville. I'm - " Running out of things to say Ollie simply shrugged his shoulders. " - going to get drunk." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll be rotten company, I always am when I'm pissed, so you wait for Nicky." Ollie glanced at his watch. "She won't be long."
Rion looked at the crowd gathering on Primrose Hill above them. "You're not going to stay for the fireworks?"
Ollie shook his head. "We'll come back for the August Bank Holiday - the fireworks're bigger and better then - it's not that long away."
"You'll be ok?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow. You have money?"
Rion nodded, patting her wallet in her front pocket. "Auntie Em gave me a twenty."
Ollie hugged the young girl to him. "Wait at the look-out for Nicks. She'll be here soon."

Chapter Eighty-four - Justice
Wayne parked the pick-up outside Candida's flat in Holland Park. He was glad it was all over. All that remained was getting his bonus and getting out of there.
He could see Candida at the second floor window but didn't get out of the van, instead Wayne pulled his battered workbag to him and withdrew the gilt-framed miniature - Merlijnche de Poortje gazed back at him from the shadows.
On more than one occasion it had crossed the builder's mind to simply try and palm it off himself. But that went against his principles. He also hadn't a clue who to approach about a painting. Whoever he went to would rip him off, that was clear. He might as well stick with Candida.
Had it all been worth it? He had done two jobs, been paid for one and would soon be paid for the second alongwith a handsome bonus for successful recovery of the item. He'd also had a lot of great sex - that couldn't be discounted - but had it been worth it? Wayne wasn't sure. He smiled. He could think about it next week when he was in Florida couldn't he?
With the painting in his hand Wayne walked quickly up the glasscovered walkway to the front door. Candida's voice came through the intercom before he could press the buzzer.
"You're late."
The door clicked open. Deciding not to take the small, woodpanelled lift the builder ran up the stairs to the second floor. The door to the flat was open.
"Where is it? Where is it?"
His employer was standing in front of three elaborate mirrors in the hall of the elegant apartment. She wore a floorlength peach silk nightgown with tiny straps over the shoulders, a string of pearls and heels. Normally this would have got a rise out of Wayne but on this occasion he just wanted to get out of there.
Wayne gave her a flash of the painting. "Where's the money?" He asked.
Candida sighed. She went over to the Louis Quinze commode with its spindly little legs, picked up a bulging envelope and waved it at Wayne.
"This is abit ridiculous isn't it?" Candida kicked the envelope along the parquet floor where it span into Wayne's feet.
"You're the one into cop shows."
Wayne picked up the envelope and flipped through the wad of deliciously crisp fifty-pound notes.
"Is it all there?"
That was something I won't miss, he thought, that haughty sarcasm. "Good enough."
He put the painting face down on the dresser and left.
Wayne had hardly got to the first floor when he heard the scream. As he hurried out the front door to the van he heard the sash windows open on the second floor above him.
"You bastard!"
Wayne looked up to find Candida smashing the small miniature on the windowsill. She threw the gilded frame down, shrieking in rage as it splintered on the concrete beside the pick-up, missing Wayne by inches.
"Oi!" He shouted up, but all he could see was Candida ripping the painting from the board. She looked at the canvas for a moment then shrieked even louder.
The backboard came next. It bounced harmlessly off the windscreen before landing on the ground. Finally Candida scrunched the canvas into a ball and threw it down. She slammed the window shut and vanished from sight.
Deciding it best to make a quick exit Wayne picked up the oddly crinkly ball of canvas and hopped into the van. It was only when he was safely through Notting Hill Gate that he pulled over.
Wayne smoothed out the ball, immediately feeling that it wasn't canvas but some sort of thick paper. "What the hell - ?" Now that he held it in his hands, without the disguise of the glass and frame, it was obvious that the miniature was a photographic image cleverly touched up.
He turned the paper over to find a message written on the back.

"With love from all at Meanwhile Gardens Mews"

They'd known all along! Wayne laughed. He'd been done and it had never felt better.
He was still laughing as he drove east through the City to Poplar, heading for Dagenham and home.

Chapter Eighty-five - The Lady Vanished
The fireworks started fifteen minutes late but were worth the wait. As the event was sponsored by an American bank it was only fitting that the sizeable expat community turned up in their droves.
Rion looked on entranced as blue, red and dazzling white flashpoint streamers flared into the sky. These were followed by all manner of giant Catherine wheels spinning for all their brief lives were worth, magic lanterns that loomed out of the darkness, enormous rockets that seemed to touch the moon before exploding in a riot of deafening bangs and glittering stars, fireballs of all colour flashing over Regents Park, Jack-'o-lanterns, fireflies and will-'o-thewisps blazed, gleamed and glittered in the moonlit night. It was magic made all the more so by the domed silhouette of St Paul's Cathedral in the distance.
The blackout, when it finally came, was preceded by a dazzling display of pyrotechnics. Six flares sped towards the stars. At their zenith a distant muffle was heard heralding their separation into white blooms that slowly unfurled as they fell through the blackness.
Another puff and the small white blooms blossomed into larger blue petals and fell further. A louder pop right above their heads and the large blue petals burst into scarlet and became even bigger. In their final incarnation the fireworks loomed over the open-mouthed crowd like the tendrils of some gleaming, astral plant, so close you felt you could reach up and touch them.
A smattering of applause greeted this closing display.
Rion looked at her watch. It was after eleven. She looked around anxiously for Nicky but there was no sign of the photographer. On the other side of the lookout she noticed a man looking at her.
"The animals must be driven crazy by it all." He said gesturing to the dark mass of London Zoo below them
Rion looked round to see who he was addressing but it was apparent he was talking to her.
"I have two cats and they hate any sort of fireworks, imagine how a lion or tiger might react."
Rion hadn't noticed the man during the display but that wasn't surprising, she figured, as she had been staring skywards the entire time. The man wore a Trilby hat which on anyone else might have looked trendy, or even sinister, but atop his fleshy face it looked rather comforting, rather old-fashioned. The thing that disturbed Rion was how he looked at her.
"Sorry for staring," He said, "but do you live near Golborne Road? It's just I think I've seen you near there." The man didn't want to alarm her by mentioning exactly where he'd seen her.
"Yes," Rion felt relieved. He had seen her around that's all, she thought, he had recognised her. Why, she was almost a Londoner now wasn't she? "Yes, I do actually."
The man's eyes twinkled. "I thought so!"
"Is this the only lookout on Primrose Hill?" Rion asked.
"If not someone is waiting for me somewhere else - anyway they've probably gone by now." The man's face looked sad all of a sudden. "Have you been stood up too?"
"I guess so. Sort of anyway." Rion couldn't help herself smiling. "Funny how we're both from the same area and we've both been stood up at the same place."
The man's face broke into a grin. "Isn't it?"
"Well," Rion said. "I'd better be going."
The man saw his chance slipping away. "Would you like to share a taxi back?" He asked hurriedly.
Rion hesitated.
"It would be cheaper."
Would Auntie Em allow it Rion wondered?
"I mean if you wouldn't mind?"
Rion was in a dilemma. She needed to get home. It was obvious Nicky wasn't going to turn up.
"You could see Salt and Pepper." The man gave a bashful smile that made Rion warm to him. "They're the cats," He explained. "and then go on."
Why not Rion thought? He was polite. He seemed ok - besides he liked animals didn't he? - he probably wouldn't hurt a fly. "Ok." She decided. "That would be nice."
They walked down the slope to Prince Albert Road that separated Primrose Hill from Regent's Park. With the firework display well and truly over the street was busy with countless people trying to get cabs. At the first glimpse of a yellow light scores ran for the vacant taxi.
As yet more people scrambled for the few available taxis Rion noticed several badly dressed men waving others over to their parked cars. The cars seemed to be old, mainly in a milky, off-brown colour and to have more than their fair share of dents.
"We could get a mini-cab." She suggested.
The man followed Rion's gaze. "You don't want to get in one of them." He said. "Can't be trusted. You never know where you might end up. They're just as likely to drug you as drive you anywhere."
Well, at least he had her safety at heart Rion thought. She walked over to the side of the road. Below her she could see the moon reflected in the dark waters of the Grand Union Canal. Several couples strolled along the towpath beside it. Remembering Ollie's earlier words she turned to her companion. "We could take the canal couldn't we?"
The man couldn't believe his luck. The young girl had practically sought him out and was now suggesting a walk that would take them right past his front door.
"I wouldn't do it myself of course, especially not at night, but I'll be alright if I'm with you won't I?"
"Of course you will." He reassured her. "It should only take about forty minutes."
"Probably faster than if we had to wait for a taxi isn't it?"
The man looked at the crowds still waiting for taxis. "Probably. We'll also go right past my front door. I live on a barge on the canal you see."
"I've always wanted to live on a boat." Rion said dreamily.
"Really?" This was getting better and better the man thought. "I'm moored opposite Jason's Restaurant in -"
"Little Venice." Rion said excitedley. "What's your boat called?"
"Longfelloe."
Rion clapped her hands. She knew she was ok now. "I know exactly where it is! We walked past there this evening!"
The man didn't want to tell her he knew.
They went down the stairs to the towpath. Before they had gone a few steps Rion stopped. She offered the man her hand. "My name's Rion by the way."
"I'm Nigel." He shook her hand formally,
They walked on beside the silent waters of the canal. As they vanished into the darkness of the first tunnel the man said. "But my friends call me Gorby."

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