Feature

Young people spend more time at work than they do socialising with friends so it is not surprising that love radars have become attuned to seeking dates from work colleagues. But mixing love and work can spell disaster for both your love life and your career.

According to Dr Andrew DuBrin, author of Winning Office Politics, the workplace is the number one place to meet partners these days. However, being in contact with your partner day and night can cause a great deal of friction. Male or female, there are certain unwritten rules to consider before taking your work to bed, so to speak.

“Never get involved with someone who’s in your direct chain of command,” says Dr DuBrin. “There’s too much of a chance that people will perceive favouritism.”

If you have seniority over your partner, you may find it difficult to maintain a professional relationship, especially if reprimands are required. This situation can quickly lead to accusations of favouritism from co-workers. Bosses should also be prepared for the possibility of false accusations of sexual harassment from an ex if the relationship turns sour.

If you’re thinking of pursuing a relationship with your boss or assistant, ask yourself if the relationship is really worth your job. In the event of a nasty break up, it is more likely to cost you your career than vice versa.

In either case, you may also be in breach your company’s rules and regulations on inter-office dating.

They say that you shouldn’t take your work home. You shouldn’t take your home to work either. Sneaking off for a smooch in the lift or continuing a lovers’ tiff while you are supposed to be busy working will not help you focus on carving out a good career for yourself. You need to practice self-restraint on the job.

“Be professional, keep quiet about your romance, and don’t play footsie under the desk,” recommends Laurie Rozakis, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Office Politics. “You don’t want your relationship to affect your work or others’ perceptions of your performance.”

Flirty, passionate e-mails and phone messages are a definite no-no. They could be read or overheard by others, creating awkwardness and embarrassment. It’s also an unfortunate reality that some failed interoffice relationships morph into sexual harassment suits and you don’t want to leave a trail of electronic evidence in your wake.

Office affairs squeeze out juicy gossip, which means that you will both have to get used to being on the receiving end of friendly office banter or having people poke their noses in your not-so-private lives.

The workplace can be a good place to meet a partner. You are likely to have similar passions and values, have the same level of education, the same social life and the same career goals. When it works, it works.

But be realistic about the possible downsides of office romance. If you break up for example, you may feel compelled to quit your job to avoid having to face your ex every day. Think about how you would you feel if they struck up another office relationship right under your nose.

Picture caption: Stealing a kiss at work.

MyVillage, 11th May