Column: Laura Does Vocals...October

The Eponym frontwoman manages to dodge laying down some Lloyd Webber but comes up clutching for a low carb long-neck...

I am pleased and relieved to tell you that I managed to avoid singing that little Latin ditty I told you about last month. It was hard work, but I struggled and succeeded in convincing the bride and groom that a requiem is not really appropriate for a wedding!

Far more important than the song though, was what I should wear for such an occasion! Needless to say it was a rather formal affair, so any serious rock-related apparel would be somewhat frowned upon, but at the same time I was understandably reluctant to settle for a lilac twin-set with matching wide-brimmed hat and pearls. After careful consideration I settled for a 1950s inspired wiggle dress with patent red shoes and belt, which I thought would clash admirably with my pink hair. I will admit to being rather smug and self-satisfied at having chosen my outfit well in advance of the wedding day; imagine my frustration then, when I discovered some fairly major sizing problems with the dress! I am not exactly blessed with the perfect proportions of today’s successful female pop stars, but am actually two sizes bigger on my top half, so many alterations were needed before I achieved anything vaguely resembling a good fit. My awkward proportions may be the main reason behind my usual avoidance of dresses – they simply refuse to cooperate with my vital statistics!

Thankfully for my ego, I am a great believer in the notion that the more voluptuous the star, the more talent she must have! Of course I am extremely biased and my beliefs are no doubt influenced quite heavily by my love of carbs… But seriously, you must agree: there’s nothing rock n roll about low calorie beer!

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